When you think for just one moment about what a nerd is, form that thought into an image within your brain, you will suddenly see my high school yearbook photo. I wish I were joking. My hair was combed and gelled down, I wore terrible glasses that didn't compliment anything about my head, I lived off of a diet of triscuits and soda, and I had all of the social charm of a wet rug. I am not being hard on myself, I promise you. My hobbies included browsing the Internet for funny things, playing multiplayer games, and collecting funny t-shirts. I had a serious passion for funny t-shirts, and I had collected lots of them.
I was constantly aware of how bad my social anxiety was getting, but it was verging on agoraphobia. I didn't want to be this way, but I saw no way to change. One of the big milestones of my exclusionism was when my mother asked me to start watching my 6 month old baby sister so that her and my father could go out. She would be in bed, and I would probably only have to feed her once...but I could just not be bothered. My mom looked sad, and I felt really bad. I just fed my neurosis by getting online and buying a couple of funny t-shirts before settling down for some awesome PvP raids.
The next few weeks went by in a blur, because time flies when you're wasting it like crazy. I spent my days sleeping and my nights doing the typical computer crap. I really had no idea what was going on when my mother popped in and said, "The sitter is here. Stay out of Tina's way so she can take care of your sister. I love you, hon. Bye!" Just like that, mom was gone, and she left me to deal with the knowledge that there was not only a stranger in the house...but a girl named "Tina". I thought about it for a long, long time before popping up and putting on one of my funny t-shirts. I had to investigate. I went downstairs, intending to say something snarky to this little girl...but instead found a girl about my age who was just geeky enough to make my heart crack in two.
I swallowed hard, but my throat was so dry that it actually made a clicking sound. She turned around, startled, but then laughed immediately. She introduced herself, and all I could say back was, "I know." She laughed again and asked me to sit and watch some television, because she was kind of bored. She said she had to go just a little bit when the baby started crying, so I just watched her leave and walk down the hall...but not before she called out over her should that she loved funny t-shirts, and that mine was really cool. I was grinning like an idiot, but I took off my shirt, folded it, and left it for her with a quick note that said, "For Tina" before running back up to my room.
I wanted so badly to see her again. I couldn't play my games, I couldn't read, and I couldn't sleep. I was sad and happy all at the same time. I didn't know what was happening to me. She came every week, and I could never go back down the stairs to see her. Instead, I started leaving her one of my favorite funny t-shirts with various notes. I started leaving hearts on the notes, and I expected her to start returning the shirts...but that never happened. The night I saw her smiling up at my window as she left was the night I decided to talk to her. My outer walls had crumbled, and there was nothing I could do but dedicate myself to winning her.
That was how it all began, how I fell in love with my wife and how I finally came out of my shell...all because of some funny t-shirts and her laugh. I have never been happier, and she was so much more well-adjusted than me. She introduced me to good people and good music, and to a social life I never would have had the courage to find if it hadn't been for her. Years later, I asked my mother on a whim if she had planned my encounter with Tina on purpose. She smiled and said, "I needed a babysitter. I needed my son to live outside of the Internet. I'm just glad I got both out of the deal. Money well spent."
I was constantly aware of how bad my social anxiety was getting, but it was verging on agoraphobia. I didn't want to be this way, but I saw no way to change. One of the big milestones of my exclusionism was when my mother asked me to start watching my 6 month old baby sister so that her and my father could go out. She would be in bed, and I would probably only have to feed her once...but I could just not be bothered. My mom looked sad, and I felt really bad. I just fed my neurosis by getting online and buying a couple of funny t-shirts before settling down for some awesome PvP raids.
The next few weeks went by in a blur, because time flies when you're wasting it like crazy. I spent my days sleeping and my nights doing the typical computer crap. I really had no idea what was going on when my mother popped in and said, "The sitter is here. Stay out of Tina's way so she can take care of your sister. I love you, hon. Bye!" Just like that, mom was gone, and she left me to deal with the knowledge that there was not only a stranger in the house...but a girl named "Tina". I thought about it for a long, long time before popping up and putting on one of my funny t-shirts. I had to investigate. I went downstairs, intending to say something snarky to this little girl...but instead found a girl about my age who was just geeky enough to make my heart crack in two.
I swallowed hard, but my throat was so dry that it actually made a clicking sound. She turned around, startled, but then laughed immediately. She introduced herself, and all I could say back was, "I know." She laughed again and asked me to sit and watch some television, because she was kind of bored. She said she had to go just a little bit when the baby started crying, so I just watched her leave and walk down the hall...but not before she called out over her should that she loved funny t-shirts, and that mine was really cool. I was grinning like an idiot, but I took off my shirt, folded it, and left it for her with a quick note that said, "For Tina" before running back up to my room.
I wanted so badly to see her again. I couldn't play my games, I couldn't read, and I couldn't sleep. I was sad and happy all at the same time. I didn't know what was happening to me. She came every week, and I could never go back down the stairs to see her. Instead, I started leaving her one of my favorite funny t-shirts with various notes. I started leaving hearts on the notes, and I expected her to start returning the shirts...but that never happened. The night I saw her smiling up at my window as she left was the night I decided to talk to her. My outer walls had crumbled, and there was nothing I could do but dedicate myself to winning her.
That was how it all began, how I fell in love with my wife and how I finally came out of my shell...all because of some funny t-shirts and her laugh. I have never been happier, and she was so much more well-adjusted than me. She introduced me to good people and good music, and to a social life I never would have had the courage to find if it hadn't been for her. Years later, I asked my mother on a whim if she had planned my encounter with Tina on purpose. She smiled and said, "I needed a babysitter. I needed my son to live outside of the Internet. I'm just glad I got both out of the deal. Money well spent."
About the Author:
Take a look at these funny t-shirts at funny t-shirt for lots of great information.
No comments:
Post a Comment